sciencesaggressively | [insert diamond pun here]

[insert diamond pun here]

He has no idea what he's doing.

He's standing in the middle of this store, hands stuffed in the pockets of his leather jacket, and nobody's offered to help him yet probably because he looks awfully shady. He feels kind of shady, actually; he keeps glancing over his shoulder to make sure nobody he knows is around, which is a tough task when he's in a busy shopping mall but maybe the hustle and bustle of the weekend crowd will make it that much easier for him to blend in without getting caught in this shop. He keeps telling himself he's only here because he's curious, he has no intention of actually buying anything, he's just here to browse and get an idea of what he should look for in the future.

Then there's that really big, much louder part of him that's laughing at that bullshit because he's almost definitely going to walk out of this place with a shiny new engagement ring, assuming he finds one that's right. Yeah, he's going to do it. He's going to propose because even though it had been on his birthday that he'd really admitted to himself that Kate's the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with, he's pretty sure he's known longer than that. They've been together for only a few months but he's never been more sure about anything in his life--well, it might be on level with how much he'd wanted to join the PPDC and work with kaiju guts but whatever, whatever, that's business and this is personal.

That's why he doesn't want anyone to see him here, he doesn't want any of his friends or her friends or anyone to try to talk him out of this--not that they could--when he doesn't even have a single doubt himself, not even a doubt of her saying yes. Even if he does walk out of here with a ring, it's not like he's going to propose right away anyway; but he'd really like to be prepared. Just in case.

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Oh, this is great. This is really great. Newt sighs in resignation when he recognizes Jesse's voice and closes his eyes for a long moment before turning to face him with a sheepish smile. "Caught me red-handed. Thanks for the extra cover, obviously I'm not doing a very good job being incognito on my own. Baseball cap, I'm not wearing a baseball cap, I knew I was forgetting something."

Truly, he's kind of glad for Jesse's company, though he glances him over because Kate had mentioned something about Jesse having a rough time of it lately. He's not sure if it's his place to ask about it, whether Kate wasn't supposed to mention it or whatever, but then again, maybe it's even ruder not to ask. "I could use some help," he admits, nodding toward the unhelpful shop attendants who are mooning over a much more distinguished looking dude on the opposite end of the store. "I'm not getting it from anyone else. I, uh, heard that like, stuff happened with you. Holding up okay?"

"Well enough," he said, running a hand through his hair. That was mostly a lie because he was still doing pretty shitty and he wasn't sure if Newt actually wanted to know or was just being considerate. There weren't a lot of people he could talk to about it but this probably wasn't the time or place.

"So is this the ring you're looking to get?"

It didn't really surprise Jesse. Newt and Kate were pretty amazing together and it was obvious that they made each other extremely happy and he thought it was pretty cool that they were looking to take the next step. Or at least Newt was.

Newt's a terrible liar, mostly because it's rare that he can keep things to himself unless there are exceptional circumstances, and sometimes it allows him to be see right through others' lies, too. In this case, Jesse might as well have the word 'lie' tattooed in all caps on his forehead. "I've used that one before," Newt tells him, keeping his eyes on the rings and his voice even. If Jesse doesn't want to talk about it, Newt's not going to make him; but he hopes that hint of willingness to lend an ear comes through in his tone. He still feels so much gratitude toward Jesse for being the one to find Kate alive in that casket, even though it's not like Jesse--or anyone, for that matter--would have just left here there. Newt may not be the best person to go to for empathy, but he's definitely good for a drink and a chat.

"It is," he says nodding, finally looking back up at Jesse. He wrings his hands, suddenly feeling very under the microscope even though Jesse doesn't sound like he's judging at all--something Newt hadn't known he'd be thankful for until right this second, especially from a good friend of Kate's. "I just, y'know, need to figure out which one. And hey, this probably goes without saying but, uh... Don't tell her you saw me here, okay? I know I'm going to ask her but that's about all I know. The when is a little more up in the air."

Jesse was kind of glad to be called on his bullshit. He couldn't talk to anyone about all he had gone through but there was enough that he could talk about and it might help. Or he might just sound pretty pathetic, he wasn't sure. It was cool of Newt to offer though.

"Honestly, I don't even know how I'm supposed to feel about it all, no clue if I'm feeling about how I should or what."

It wasn't like Jesse had a lot of experiences like this to go off of. His life up until now had been incredibly normal. Even after arriving in Darrow things hadn't been too out there until New Year's. If this was how his life was going to be then Darrow could have it back.

It was a lot more fun to think about Newt proposing to Kate. Jesse was pretty sure that she would say yes without hesitation. He didn't want to do anything that would ruin the moment and spoil the surprise.

"My lips are sealed. If word does get back to her you can tell her that you were here with me."

It actually means a lot, to know that Jesse has his back like this. He's grateful for the fact that he's pretty sure he's allowed to call Jesse his friend now, too, rather than just Kate's friend. He's under no delusions about all of Kate's buddies liking him--he knows Harley's not a fan, at least--and that's fine, he's used to people's tendency to just walk away; but he has to admit, it's a lot nicer and a hell of a lot easier when they don't.

"Hey, thanks, dude. And as far as how you should feel, as far as I know, there's still no handbook written about life-changing and traumatic events." He pauses, tilting his head as he rethinks that. "Okay, so there's like, so many books written about life-changing and traumatic events but you know what I mean, it's not like anyone can tell you whether what you're feeling is right or wrong."

He doesn't know the full extent of what Jesse's been through but he does know that if Jesse's willing to help him out here, he's just as willing to offer any help of his own. Still, it's not like he's going to strongarm Jesse into letting it all out or whatever so he opts to point at one of the rings he's been eyeing, a blue diamond. "What do you think? Not too boring, not too generic. I need this thing to be like, awesome."

"I kind of wish there were something that could tell me," Jesse admitted. He was a pretty chill guy for the most part and had always done his best to sort of roll with the punches. Magical bee stings and kidnappings and such were a bit harder to roll with than punches. It probably wasn't meant to be rolled with.

"Maybe even just reading some of the books so I can decide they're shit would help me figure out how I'm doing," Jesse admitted. That might not actually be too bad of a plan. That could be later though, because right now he's helping Newt look at rings, which is a crazy thing. "I think the blue diamond is a pretty good choice. Kate seems like a slightly non-traditional type so that's a good idea."

Newt takes this moment to remind himself that he's lucky he hasn't been through anything like whatever Jesse's going through. Most people might suggest that living in a world running rampant with kaiju is maybe kind of traumatic but it hadn't been, not for Newt. He knows that his attitude had always come off as flippant, that it had so often seemed like he had no respect for the people who'd lost their lives in the kaiju attacks; but that hadn't been the case.

He'd been recruited to the PPDC for a reason, to study the kaiju and figure out how the hell to beat them, and so they'd become his entire goddamn life for more than a decade--how was he supposed to have acted? He's never been able to accept defeat, and he's a terribly sore loser so yeah, he'd kept his head up and he'd allowed him to get excited about his work and people had hated him for it; but being bullied, being pushed around, it's not the same as what he and Jesse are actively not mentioning right now.

"We can go check some books out," he says, smiling a little, "if you want. Diamond rings and shitty books, they totally go together. Or they do now." He examines the rock he's been scoping out more closely, nodding at Jesse's words. "I'd say that's pretty accurate. She's dating me, after all." He looks for a shop attendant, sighing when he sees them on the other side of the store fawning over some other customer and very much ignoring Newt. "Maybe I don't look rich enough to be here. Think that's it? Maybe it's the leather jacket, I'm too intimidating."

"You know, this place is just weird enough that it might actually have something useful in a bookstore," Jesse said. Or maybe he was just grasping at straws. To be honest, at this point, he would take some straws if they ended up helping him. Like he said, even knowing what wasn't helpful might be something.

"Maybe you should make it rain," he suggested with a laugh. "Show them you mean business. But seriously, if they're going to be dicks about it you should check out somewhere else. I'm sure there are a few other places near here, right?"

Newt snorts, pulling his wallet from his back pocket and glancing in side. "Think they'd be mad about getting knocked in the head with my card? Just over and over? I got a couple fivers in here, too, that seems like it would work." He shrugs at the question about other stores because honestly, this had been the only store on the directory that had the term 'diamond' in it. He's sure that there must be other jewelry stores in this mall, and the department stores sell shit like this. He just hadn't expected this to be such a difficult task.

"Gotta be," he says. "And if we can't find you something in the bookstore, I'll just like, make something up and try to get it sounding legit. I'm a scientist, I'm totally good with like, brain stuff. Feelings stuff, eh, maybe not so much, but I can give it a shot."

"I think if you throw the card up over and over again, then that's the same thing. Actually, I think that's making it hail, which is what people with money but who don't deal in mostly cash only transactions do."

That actually sounded like a pretty good idea for a parody video of some sort and Jesse wished that he was part of a sketch comedy group or something so he could try it out. Maybe the secret to dealing with all of this shit was to start finding some creative outlets to help himself get his mind off of all this.

"But if you make something up and use big science words, I'll totally believe it. You can't be worse that Dr. Phil. And if you don't know who that is, insert your own time's version of an arm chair therapist."

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