wanted: awesome bro

[sciencesaggressively]

To anyone he's passing by on the sidewalk, it might look like Newt's in terrible distress. He's practically running, weaving in and out of the crowd and trying to avoid any sort of bodily contact, and he's pretty much out of breath, so he thinks he should really try to get in shape or something because damn, this is kind of embarrassing. But he can worry about that after he gets to Chuck's--and he hopes Chuck's home because it's possible that Newt might have dialed his number, hung up after the first ring, and took it as an invitation to knock on his door instead.

So here he is, knocking like his life depends on it and it kind of does a little, okay, he thinks it's entirely possible that he's having something like a heart attack right now from a combination of nerves and excitement and nerves.

"Chuck," he shouts, pounding harder on the door and giving zero shits about whether anyone else in this building can hear him. "Chuck, I need your help, open up!"

Comments

[hadtheshot]

For a moment, having made his way to the door, Chuck just looks at Newt like he might be insane. There's no reason for it when it isn't exactly like they were close before showing up here, but even so, the idea of him being someone to turn to for dating advice is hilariously absurd. Still, he's been asked a question, so he supposes he might as well answer it honestly, using what little knowledge and experience he has under his belt to do so. For all he knows, this is just a casual thing that Newt has going on anyway. Maybe that's all he really wants, and it's the choice of words that has him thrown. It's not like he's in any position to be able to tell.

"Make sure to get her off at least once," he says with a shrug of one shoulder, not entirely convinced that it would have to be any more complicated than that. "And, hey, if you swing by with a twelve-pack, you can do all the rambling you want." He really, really doesn't want to hear about Newt's potential sexual exploits, but with enough to drink, he imagines he could tune out just about anything. For that matter, he doubts he'd be able to stop Newt from saying whatever the hell he wants to, anyway.

[sciencesaggressively]

Newt had already been in the process of saying something else when Chuck makes him actually choke on his words. He realizes what he must look like, all bug-eyed and scandalized, but Chuck, please. "Dude, that's like, oh my god, do you think that's what she's expecting?" He's so close to pulling his hair out of scalp at the thought, godddamn, it has been not a short time since the last time he's had an intimate relationship with anyone, and it's not like he's opposed to something casual or whatever, but he admittedly doesn't look at Kate and see her as someone he'd want just a one-time hook-up with. But that doesn't mean she doesn't see him that way, he hadn't even considered that.

"I'm all turned around now, man," he complains as they make their way out of the building. "Should I like, I don't know, buy condoms or something? Does that just make it look like I was planning on there to be sexual exploits all along? Or does it make me look responsible? Goddammit, Chuck, goddamn you!" He gives Chuck a soft punch and a small smile to show he's not actually pissed, but yeah, there's definitely a little bit of anxiety that hadn't been there before rooted deep inside his chest. "Just for that, I'm bringing the twelve-pack, but I'm not saving any of it for you."

[hadtheshot]

Scoffing, Chuck returns the punch, though there's no force behind it. It's kind of funny, actually, how flustered Newt gets, when as far as he's concerned, that sort of thing should go without saying, just part of the territory. For that matter, it's a lot easier to continue making fun of Newt for how clueless he is rather than drawing attention to the fact that the same is true for him, that he can't really comprehend what the big deal is if the night isn't going to end in sex. Even being far from an authority on the subject, he'd have figured that that would kind of be the point of going out in the first place.

"Look at it this way," he says, trying his best to sound actually knowledgeable, hoping Newt doesn't see through it. "If you do, and you don't wind up sleeping with her, then she won't know the difference. And if you do wind up sleeping with her, then you'll be ready and that's all she'll care about. It's win-win." One corner of his mouth pulls higher, brow raising. "And don't think you could stop me from taking what I want of that twelve-pack."