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Dr. Newton Geiszler ([personal profile] sciencesaggressively) wrote2017-02-20 08:42 pm
Entry tags:

crenTISTS

Today's the day. It's a big day, one Newt had cleared his schedule for because the last time he'd done something like this, the Crentists had fucked him up--and on his goddamn birthday, no less. Admittedly, that'd been poor planning on his part, which is why he'd totally be more conscientious about it this time around. Besides, he's pretty sure Chuck might try to kill him in a laughing gas-induced rage if Newt took him out in public after the fuckery they're about to endure.

Had he properly warned his best friend about the Crentists? About those frosty-tipped sons of bitches who are kind of creepy, kind of hilarious, neither of which Newt would really consider a good thing?

Nah.

In the end, they'd gotten the job done right, and Newt hasn't had problems with his teeth at all since his last visit. Granted, he's pretty sure getting gassed up isn't standard for a dental checkup, but he's also not a dentist so whatever. The objective of this visit is to get Chuck's tooth fixed, get Newt a checkup, and get the hell out of dodge. At least, they'll get out of dodge once Kate swings by to pick them up because if there's one thing Newt's sure of, it's that he and Chuck aren't leaving this office unscathed.
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[personal profile] hadtheshot 2017-02-23 09:13 am (UTC)(link)
This whole thing is stupid. It had been from the start, when he'd picked a fight on New Year's for reasons he doesn't even remember now and took an unexpected fist to the face for it; it was when he realized that he'd chipped a goddamn tooth in the process; it is now, waiting to see a dentist whose last name suspiciously rhymes with their profession, Newt's recommendation just a little too glowing. Over these past few years, he's found that it isn't really even strange anymore, the fact that they're friends now, Newt as much of one as he's ever had, but he also knows that sometimes Newt saying they should do a thing is every reason they shouldn't do that thing.

It's too late to back out now, though, and for all he knows, he's making too much out of nothing, finding a way to shift the blame when it is probably his own fault he's in this position in the first place. Trying to explain that isn't something he's looking forward to, either. For now, though, sitting and waiting, he turns towards Newt, trademark scowl in place. "If they wind up robbing me blind," he says, "you're paying me back for it."
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[personal profile] hadtheshot 2017-03-02 12:40 am (UTC)(link)
"Mouths to feed?" Chuck echoes, a disbelieving laugh in his voice. "You have, what, a wife and a dog? I'm only short one of those." They do have that fancy condo, too, something that Chuck can still barely wrap his head around, but having decided already to blame Newt if this goes horribly awry, he isn't going to go back on his word now. He has a reputation to maintain, after all, even with the person who's unquestionably his best friend in this place. If anything, the fact that the reason he's here at all is because of a fight just makes that even truer. "And you have a job and I don't, so there you go. I think I'm the one who's at a disadvantage here."
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[personal profile] hadtheshot 2017-03-13 08:02 am (UTC)(link)
"Yeah, I have a feeling me as a receptionist would not end well for anyone involved," Chuck says dryly, though there's unmasked amusement behind the sound of it. He's short on patience at the best of times, and he doubts that would translate well over the phone. Chances are, he'd last maybe two weeks, tops, and only because of Newt's influence. "There is no way your mouth counts for two, but alright, I'll let you count the cat."
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[personal profile] hadtheshot 2017-03-27 09:35 am (UTC)(link)
"Punching classes, yeah, I like that," Chuck says dryly, shaking his head. He actually can't think of anything better — even more so than specific self-defense, really — but while there are doubtless always people looking to be trained, he would rather actually do the punching than anything else. Much like would be the case if he was working as a receptionist, he probably wouldn't have the patience to teach anyone, and would instead just wind up punching any students. At least they would probably be able to learn something from it, in this hypothetical situation, but it's still not worth it. "Better than joining up here."

If his voice maybe raises just the slightest bit, he has every intention of denying it. "What I'd have to do to my hair alone, it wouldn't be worth it."
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[personal profile] hadtheshot 2017-04-05 07:15 pm (UTC)(link)
None of this is the least bit reassuring, and Chuck doesn't bother to hide the frustrated concern in his expression as he turns from one of the Crentists — Geoff — to Newt. He'd known this was a bad idea. He doesn't know how he'd known or why, but this whole thing has seemed off to him from the start, and if it weren't for the fact of his chipped tooth, he wouldn't have bothered seeing a dentist in the first goddamn place. Now that he's here, in fact, he can't remember the last time he had a dental appointment at all. Getting his teeth cleaned always seemed a little less important than saving the world, and it isn't like they'd had a team of professionals running around the 'Dome. Still, this would have been a problem either way, and they're here now, so he may as well tough it out.

A dentist with frosted tips can't be any worse than a fucking kaiju.

"Yeah, I think we've figured that out already," Chuck says dryly, nodding towards a large, framed photograph on the wall of the Crentist family standing outside the office, a Grand Reopening! banner hung in the background. "Kinda hard to miss."
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[personal profile] hadtheshot 2017-04-18 06:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Idly, Chuck wonders just how much time he can kill doing paperwork, or pretending to do paperwork, or some combination of the two. Putting it off won't really make that much difference, he's sure, but even so, this isn't something he's looking forward to, and a part of him half-hopes that maybe the Crentists will decide that this is too much trouble and ask them to reschedule or something. That would be a great way to get out of doing this, because then he just wouldn't have to come back.

Then he'd still have a chipped tooth, though, and therein lies the problem. There are other dentists, ones without frosted tips who are probably a little less terrifying, not to mention infuriating, but he has no way of knowing that. If he picked some random place he passed on the street, it could turn out to be even worse, and then he'd be stuck repeating this whole damn cycle.

Still, because all of this has him more frustrated than not, and because he can't resist the impulse to be kind of an asshole about it, he turns to Newt and stage whispers, just loudly enough that he's sure he'll be heard by whatever Crentists happen to be nearby, "Think it's too late to make a run for it?"
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[personal profile] hadtheshot 2017-04-26 05:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Chuck is about to say that he could absolutely take some dentist with their weird dentist tools in a fight, completely ignoring the fact that it was a fight that brought him here in the first place, though, really, chipped tooth aside, that guy at the bar didn't pose any kind of threat. Then Newt starts talking about cannibals and Chuck no longer has any idea what's going on. Comparatively speaking, maybe he didn't get such a bad deal being dragged here in the first place. He doesn't trust these creepy dentists for a second, but at least he's probably not going to get eaten here.

He hopes.

"I don't know how you get into half the shit you get into," he says, shaking his head. "Timeshares run by cannibals? Seriously? As part of, what, some cannibalistic plan?"
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[personal profile] hadtheshot 2017-05-08 06:38 am (UTC)(link)
"Free breakfast... from cannibals," Chuck says, frowning deeply, half a question. "Did you ever stop to wonder what that breakfast might be?" He doesn't really think there's anything to it, of course. Chances are, the people involved weren't cannibals at all, and just said something offhand that could have been taken out of context as such. Then again,
if anyone could stumble upon some strange sort of gathering of cannibals, it would be Newt. He is entirely too good at finding trouble, and dubious places of business.

Glancing around the waiting room, he nods once to himself. This definitely counts as a dubious place of business.

"So, yeah, thanks but no thanks, I'll steer clear of the cannibalism. Don't want to wind up getting myself eaten, especially not if I'm going to put myself through this hell. What's the point otherwise?"
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[personal profile] hadtheshot 2017-05-13 08:14 pm (UTC)(link)
"...Yeah, I don't think that's how cannibalism works," Chuck says, expression growing only more dubious. He's never attempted eating a human to find out, but he'd be surprised if it caused any sort of craving or addiction for more human. That's just zombies, at least from what he can gather from his minimal pop culture knowledge. Then again, he doesn't have the first idea why he's thinking about this with any sort of seriousness. Timeshares and breakfasts offered by potential cannibals shouldn't be something he even has to think about. Neither should whatever the hell is going to happen to him during this dentist appointment, but that is, he supposes, what comes of being friends with Newt. Things are never dull, Chuck will give him that.

Eyeing whichever frosty-haired Crentist is in front of them now with some measure of skepticism, mouth pressed into a thin line, Chuck says, "None of that gas for me, got it?" He vaguely recalls seeing Newt loopy as all fuck once upon a time, and he however much he may enjoy a good, strong drink or several, he isn't looking to meet the same fate himself. A chipped tooth isn't the worst pain he's ever had, and neither will fixing it up be. "Not even a little bit."