"You can't tell me not to call you a dick when you just called me a dick, you freakin' dick!"

It's a pointless argument, but Newt's had plenty of those and he excels at keeping them going so really, if anyone's going to lose here, it's totally going to be Coop. The nice thing to come out of all this is to know that they're pretty much on each other's level when it comes to how hard they freak out getting stuck in elevators.

"I'm pretty sure the security dudes aren't really certified anything," Newt admits. "Like mall cops, y'know? They'll probably just pry the doors open and get us out that way." He hopes, anyway. "I'm going first, for the record."