"I don't know, I'm pretty in love with bourbon these days," Coop said, deciding to play along because why the hell not. This guy might be able to fix his phone without Coop smashing it to pieces before saying a car ran over it and hoping that would be enough to get him a new one without him having to shell out too much money.

"Thai food's never been there for me in the worst of times," he remarked with a snicker. "Only the sweet, sweet burn of alcohol and the horrible mistress it leaves behind: a hangover."

Coop frowned. "Of course, bourbon's the reason I'm in this mess with my phone in the first place so maybe she's not a great wife. Or husband. I don't know if alcohol has a gender."