"I made you knock it off because it would be really embarrassing to make a mess all over myself and then have to ask for your help in cleaning it up," he shoots back, laughing with her as he dramatically rubs at the spot on his shoulder that she's smacked. "Besides, you wanted it to be special, remember? I was all hopped up on pain meds, obviously I had your best interests at heart."

"Well, that's a relief. And also stupidly cool that it transfers over like that, goddamn, maybe if I close my eyes?" He squeezes his eyes shut and counts to ten, holding his breath, before opening them again and looking down with a sigh of disappointment to see that nothing's changed. "C'monnnnnn," he whines, "I want to see how far we can take Sexy Chicken while I'm a lady. You could tell people you have the hottest girlfriend in town."