Scoffing, Chuck returns the punch, though there's no force behind it. It's kind of funny, actually, how flustered Newt gets, when as far as he's concerned, that sort of thing should go without saying, just part of the territory. For that matter, it's a lot easier to continue making fun of Newt for how clueless he is rather than drawing attention to the fact that the same is true for him, that he can't really comprehend what the big deal is if the night isn't going to end in sex. Even being far from an authority on the subject, he'd have figured that that would kind of be the point of going out in the first place.

"Look at it this way," he says, trying his best to sound actually knowledgeable, hoping Newt doesn't see through it. "If you do, and you don't wind up sleeping with her, then she won't know the difference. And if you do wind up sleeping with her, then you'll be ready and that's all she'll care about. It's win-win." One corner of his mouth pulls higher, brow raising. "And don't think you could stop me from taking what I want of that twelve-pack."